Rues et places plus vertes

Even if that were true, it's just not in their nature to learn how to use a ladder! They have wings! When a moth thinks about travelling vertically upwards, a ladder is just the last thing they would think of! Moss, I don't like to be negative about it, but everything you invent is worthless!

Team! Team, team, team, team, team! I even love saying the word 'team'. You probably think that's a picture of my family. Uh uh. It's the A-Team! Bodie, Doyle, Tiger, the Jewellery Man.

Balloons explode, Jen. They explode suddenly, and unexpectedly. They are filled with the capacity to give me a little fright, and I find that unbearable.

Jen, if this needle goes past here, you're fired. Does that make you feel stressed at all? Does it? Jen? Are you sure? Jen? Does it? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

Hello, IT. Ya ha? Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?

You want me to open it. That's why you called me all the way up here, to open your laptop?

Fire. Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire that has broken out on the premises of 123 Cavendon Road... no, that's too formal. Fire - exclamation mark - fire - exclamation mark - help me - exclamation mark. 123 Cavendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Maurice Moss.

You wouldn't shoot a Policeman and then steal his helmet. You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet, and then send it to the Policeman's grieving widow, and then steal it again. Downloading films is stealing; if you do it you WILL face the consequences!

Well, if someone called me a 'big, ugly builder', I'd be furious - and not just because I'm actually an IT consultant. Revenge, that would be uppermost on my mind: 'I'm going to wee on everything. I'm going to taint her abode. I'm going to strain my personal potatoes throughout her premises.'

A plan. Let me put on my slightly larger glasses.