Neuer Wanderweg in Puerto Demokratia

You wouldn't shoot a Policeman and then steal his helmet. You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet, and then send it to the Policeman's grieving widow, and then steal it again. Downloading films is stealing; if you do it you WILL face the consequences!

You want me to open it. That's why you called me all the way up here, to open your laptop?

I hope this doesn't embarrass you, Jen, but I find the best thing to do with a new employee is to size them up with a long, hard stare...

It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.

I don't know if it's the loss of blood or the melting plastic from the monitor, but I feel great!

Yes, I believe it was Tolstoy who said... Oh, it appears we have a visitor. I'm sorry, myself and Maurice were engaged in quite a serious discussion about books and such. We didn't hear you come in.

Listen, Alistair, I just wanted to say, I'm not a window cleaner. No, no, I work in IT. Yeah, yeah, with computers and all that. Macs? No, I just really work with Windows. Hello?

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them! Actually, that doesn't work as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages.

I hope this doesn't embarrass you, Jen, but I find the best thing to do with a new employee is to size them up with a long, hard stare...

Jen, if this needle goes past here, you're fired. Does that make you feel stressed at all? Does it? Jen? Are you sure? Jen? Does it? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

Roy, I spoke to the Elders of the Internet not one hour ago. I told them about Jen winning Employee of the Month and they were so impressed that they wanted to do whatever they could to help.

My middle name is ready. No, that doesn't sound right. I eat ready for breakfast.

An ill wind is blowing. Last night I was stirred from my slumber by a crow calling three times. Caw... caw... well you know what a crow sounds like. Passing to my window, I trod on a piece of lego. Oh, it went right in the heel. Turning on my television set, I noticed the reception wasn't great. Not terrible, just not great. Hear me well, no good can come of your trip to the theatre tonight, no good at all. And if you ask me... That's just bloody rude. Where's my Heat?